What happened?
Well, to be completely honest, I lived life my way. I made some decisions I thought were alright with God, despite the fact I never truly had peace about them. I marched forward anyway thinking it was an opportunity of a lifetime. I thought surely since the door had been opened I was meant to walk through it.
But not all open doors are held by the hand of God.
I’m not saying God physically punished me for disobedience, although He is capable of such thing. He did, however, allow certain consequences to occur in response to my lack of faithfulness.
So I am learning new ways to listen:
1) I am attentive to God’s voice. I make conscious effort to hear Him speak. And He almost never shouts.
2) I request discernment. I want to hear His voice and none other. The voice of truth, not of deceit.
3) I get Satan behind me. “Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7, NIV). Satan is “a stumbling block to me,” so with Jesus’ help I send him away (Matthew 16:23, NIV).
4) I get myself behind me. Personal pride just trips me up. “…not my will but yours be done” (Luke 22:42, NIV).
5) I obey. I repent and ask forgiveness and then I DO. “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves” (James 1:22, NKJV).
My ear will heal, be it now or when I get home to heaven. In the meantime, I will listen intently.
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