Oh, the Semicolon!

Strunk and White’s “Elementary Rules of Usage” rule #5 (Do not join independent clauses by a comma) states, “If two or more independent clauses grammatically complete and not joined by a conjunction are to form a single compound sentence, the proper mark of punctuation is a semicolon.”

How many of you apply this rule correctly?

I read an entertaining blog post today at The Blood Red Pencil. The author calls the semicolon her new love and encourages its use. Ugh! No, no, no! While the semicolon is a valid piece of grammar, and proper usage of it can produce powerful prose, overuse and misuse of this miniscule mark more often than not result in sloppy structure.

Too often writers use a semicolon to “fancy up” their manuscripts. Maybe they get bored with commas, or perhaps they think periods are too finite. The semicolon is delicate. It signals a pause to the reader; it says stop here a bit longer than a comma, but not as permanently as a period. It provides a brief break or a subtle change in thought without taking the reader in a completely new direction. It’s like taking a breath.

Semicolons should be used sparingly. Sometimes adverbs like however, therefore, or besides follow a semicolon to begin the second clause, but never, ever, ever follow a semicolon with a conjunction. My advice? When in doubt, terminate the first clause with a period and begin a new sentence.

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Creative Puns for Educated Minds (Received in an email - author unknown)

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, "Keep off the Grass."

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

Do You Need to Edit Your Life?

Recently a friend of mine asked my advice regarding her 15-year-old daughter and the concept of Christianity. Unfortunately, my friend's daughter thinks like the majority of people in the world. They think that "being a good person" is good enough. It's not. Sure, the 10 commandments are a good starting place, but can anyone truly abide by them? No. Maybe you're not a murderer, but have you thought, "I wish he were dead!" in your mind? You're guilty. Maybe you don't worship Allah (the god of Islam), but have you ever given anything in life a higher priority than God (money, relationship, job, fun, etc.)? You're guilty. And don't even try to tell me you've never lied.

If you've committed one sin, your penalty is death--eternal separation from God--eternity in hell. Hell is a real place. It is cut off from God. It is the absence of love. There is no compassion. There is no relief. There is pain. There is sorrow. There is grief. There is torture. Think of the worst thing you've ever seen or heard of on earth--it's worse and endless. Satan is a real person/creature.

Romans 3:23 tells us that we're all guilty, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 6:23 tells us the cost of that sin, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." But here's the relief, Romans 5:8, "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Are you familiar with John 3:16? "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life." This is all you have to do, "That if you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved" (Romans 10:9).

Is that so hard? For a lot of people it is. They don't think it's necessary. To them, I pose this question: What if you're wrong? If you're (the unbeliever/doubter) right, then it's all for nothing. None of this matters. But what if you're wrong? What if everything I just said in that last paragraph is right? What if you miss out? What will it hurt you to believe me? If you're right, you've lost nothing. But if I'm right, and if you reject salvation, you lose forever.

Is it time to edit your life? Do your beliefs need revision? Don't delay. Your next breath is not guaranteed. Get your life's rewrite done NOW!

Too Be or Not Too Be

Too be or not too be? That is the question without a definite answer.

Not long ago, I advised in a post that commas are no longer required to set apart the word "too" in a sentence. Little did I know pointing out this issue would spark much controversy.

Most publishers prefer to follow the style rules established in The Chicago Manual of Style (CMOS). Well, CMOS does not address this matter directly. It does, however, provide some clarity in the online Q&A at http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/CMS_FAQ/Commas/Commas27.html. Their answer simply states that commas are not necessary with the word "too" unless the sentence does not make sense without them. They say "it puts too much pressure on the comma" to give the minute punctuation mark the great responsibility of thought clarity. Hello? Isn't that the purpose of the comma in every instance?

My formal advice would be to check the style guidelines of your target publisher. If they want commas, use them. If they don't, don't. Whatever you do, though, be consistent! I doubt the appearance or absence of a comma will be the deciding factor for a publisher's acceptance or rejection. Present your best work and let the writing speak for itself.

Book Review: The Great Eight, by Scott Hamilton (with Ken Baker)

I recently signed up to be a book review blogger at Thomas Nelson Publishing, http://www.brb.thomasnelson.com/. Periodically, I will review a selection here on the Aim for Perfection Editing blog. Not every text will apply to the topics of writing or editing, but I hope to help you glean some insight about the writing process from the books I review.

My first choice was The Great Eight, by internationally renowned figure skater Scott Hamilton (with Ken Baker). I ordered this book with my mom in mind. We both enjoyed his skating and his cheerful, upbeat attitude. Mom would call me whenever she noticed a Scott Hamilton television performance in the TV program. Whatever my mood, to see Scott flipping or running across the ice flashing that big grin, would perk me up in no time. His happiness was contagious.

Well, this book arrived in my mailbox the day my mother passed away. Ironically, Scott’s theme is “How to be Happy (even when you have every reason to be miserable)”. Plunged into misery, I set the book aside for a few weeks to finish a Kathi Macias book and to read Don Piper’s 90 Minutes in Heaven. I didn’t really feel like reading a book on happiness.

As I read The Great Eight, I wasn’t real impressed with the writing style. It’s a bit redundant, doesn’t flow chronologically, and is all over the place with point-of-view. As much as I love Scott Hamilton’s bubbly personality and vivacious skating, I must admit I was bored by the book. Until, that is, I realized the message is valid and the advice pertinent. The chapter titles sum up Scott’s happiness strategy: Fall, Get Up, and Land Your First Jumps; Trust Your Almighty Coach; Make Your Losses Your Wins; Keep the Ice Clear; Think Positive, Laugh, and Smile Like Kristi Yamaguchi; Win by Going Last; Learn a New Routine; and Stand in the Spotlight.

Scott explains that we will not find true happiness until we accept our God-given flaws and reminds us that how we deal with our experiences defines our character. We can choose to let life smother us, or we can choose to let our experiences enhance our lives and provide opportunity for growth. Despite what I would consider relatively weak writing, The Great Eight effectively inspires readers to follow Scott’s “great eight” principles, to take charge of their circumstances and commit to goals, so they too may find lasting happiness.